17 December 2011

Elf on a stinking Shelf!!!

Now, it has been some time since my kids were little.  Hannah is going on 15 and Trevor is pushing 10 hard.  They have grown out of that tiny kid phrase into the big kid phase.  Heck, Hannah is a full blown teenager! 

My little kids had elves.  These elves spent the entire year with us.  They ate, they drank and they were merry.  There sole job was to ensure that the kids behaved.  They left good behavior notes, they reminded of an upcoming event so you had better behave and of course the kids had to "feed" them and that too counted as good behavior.  Our elves told Santa of any wrongdoings and that went on the LIST!

I always thought the purpose of an elf was to report to Santa of the good these kids were doing as well as the naughtys.  Essentially the elf could ruin your Christmas gift just by opening his mouth to Santa. 

Years after our elf tradition was started, I read the real Elf on a Shelf book, well low and behold, he reports back too.  I see that our elves were just alike (even though ours were shipped from the Annalee section of the North Pole). 

Now my confusion grows......

Tell me parents why your elf does mischievous and sometimes evil things?  He was sent to your house to report good behavior and yet, when he walks through your door he becomes this evil little rat!!

 I have seen or read about elves thumbing through the Victoria Secret catalog, mismatching socks, making a mess with the sugar, in the pill cabinet, drinking beer, drawing faces on picture frames, throwing things in the floor. In general creating more work for MOM! 

What type of message is your elf sending? 

My opinion?  You got a dud, quickly throw him/her out march to your nearest store and spend $30 on a new one.  A real elf would take the dishes from the dishwasher, put your clothes in ROYGBIV order, clean the living room, vacuum the hall, sanitize the toilets, write a sweet note to your kids about how great they are. 

This is behavior a good elf would exhibit.  This is the behavior your kids should do so a good report goes back to Santa. 

Has your elf been naughty?  Make him write an "I am sorry" note to your kids for showing them how to misbehave and then return him as soon as possible. Next time be more selective in the elf that you allow into your home, some of them could have serious problems or even be delinquents dressed up in proper elf clothing.  You want a highly trained well behaved elf that will be a model to your children. Put them bad ones out of work and back in elf jail where they belong!!!! 


And if the second elf fails?  Well, it's gotta be your house!  Your house makes elves and kids turn into evil monsters. I would consider a relocation or just trading in the children, the house, everything and you and your hubby moved to Barbados. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Elf hunting.