23 April 2012

Today...utter sorrow clouded by utter joy

Today is one of those very tough days for me...let me tell you a story.

January 2001, we were living in Little Rock, Arkansas.  I get a phone call very late at night that my dear father-in-law was ill.  I go to the TV station and get John and we make the most miserable trip to KY we had ever made.  John made the 5.5 hour drive in a record 3 hours!!!

On the way there he says "this is not going to work, I can't lose one of my parents and be this far away from them".  So literally the next week when we returned to our home in Little Rock, John began searching for a new job closer to home.  It was not long later that a job (and a big pay cut later)..... we were packing up the family and moving to little and I do mean LITTLE Paducah, KY.

For the next eleven years we enjoyed their company, have taken care of them, many trips to Mayfield, many trips to doctors, and many vacations cut short, while we have cared for them.

Today is just one of those days that I miss him.  I have talked to him almost daily since 2001.  I saw him almost every weekend.  I missed the money that we once made in Little Rock, I missed being a stay at home mom (as I could be in LR and could NOT in KY); but it was worth it to be with him.

I am not handling things as he would want them done today and I hate that.  I feel that he would be let down. I am praying and trying.  It's not happening.  I am just trying to focus on the fact that he is now pain free.  That he is rejoicing in his heavenly reward.

the last photos taken of Henry when he was not in the hospital.  He did not feel well  this day.  It was the second to the last time he was in my house.  The last time was February 4, 2012.  I sat with him while John and his mom went to Ft Campbell. 
Death is sad for the living and today is just one of those sad days and now that I have depressed you. I am sorry, I promise to fix that....come back.